Thursday, February 3, 2011

I Am So Frustrated!

"I am so frustrated!" I have lost count of the number of times I have heard this sentence from coaching clients. The accompanying emotional content varies from anger to resignation to despair. As we dig into the deeper meaning of this cry for help, the translation is usually some form of "I am not in control." That is true. We can't control the unrealistic expectations of our bosses. We can't control the counterproductive behavior of the colleagues we rely on to get the job done.

Get over it. There is only one part of the vast universe where we have the slightest possibility of exercising control. That is the part we occupy ourselves. We can do a better job managing the way we respond to difficult people and situations. The basic model of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) offers a guide: self-awareness; self-management; social awareness; and social management.

This is a message of hope, not helplessness. You can develop the resiliency and emotional tools for dealing more effectively with your career challenges. The key is to remake yourself as a force for positive change. You can do it!

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